Like Minds, Linked Blogs

I had a Blog entry planned today, and my Fiance posted something somewhat similar in his blog. So instead I replied in his with what I wanted to say here, and will link to his blog entry.

http://becomingisaac.blogspot.com/2009/10/ignorance-some-people-show-is-almost.html?showComment=1254900337621#c6022130778143448806

My response ;

The sad thing is ; there are a small handfull of people who do choose it. This is grown out of the same ignorance that makes people assume we are attention whore and the like. These same people usually are not transgendered or gender dysphoric and by going through transition they make themselves such and really mess up their life. I have met a few.

I had one friend who grew up in a militant feminist lesbian family. His/her parents outwardly hated men to no end and their son grew up among this. He/she is a straight male who chooses to be trans just to be accepted by his/her parents. His trained hatred of men and thus hatred of his own manhood has left him rather emotionally and socially crippled.

There are also the Drag Queens (gay men who perform dressed as women but do not actually see themselves as women) and transvestites (people who dress as the opposite sex usually more for sexual gratification) who do cry for attention. As a result they are what everyone assumes we are. Attention whore, fags and perverts (no offense to Queens and Transvestites, it is just how people sadly see you)

The problem is because we do not want attention we tend to do more to avoid it than they do. The sad result is there are very few positive examples of transsexuals for the rest of the world to see and plenty of very obvious "fags" and "perverts"

Just want to say something to the people reading this inclined to think we are fags and perverts ; 1) the majority of transsexuals are disgusted by their genitalia and their body in general and many cannot function sexually because of this. Add in the fact that Male to Female trans people take hormones which almost always completely neuter them (no erection) and generally completely kill their sex drive should be pretty solid proof that sex is not a motivation. 2) Not sure of the numbers for Female to Males, but I have read a few different studies and articles which show that roughly 40% of us are attracted strictly to women. If to you a "guy" who wears a dress and takes hormones is still a man, by your own definition of gender they are straight much of the time.

In a similar light ; I am a Trans Woman (born male, living female) and my Fiance Isaac is a Trans Man (born female, living male). So regardless of whether you accept us as our chosen gender or choose to strictly define us by our birth sex, we are still a straight couple either way.

Blog Entry May 31st 09

I originally posted this as a note on Facebook backe when I decided to use FB as a Blog outlet. This di not work very well. Allot has changed in my life since this entry, however the point is still very valid.



Am I alone?

I used to feel...hope...that I was important to my friends and loved ones. People close to me and sharing my time and space. There was always something holding back, within. Something I could not share, though exactly what I was barely aware myself. Some thing that always left me feeling alien no matter where I was or whom I was with. I was an object, a prop.

When I couldn't stand myself I abandonned friends and family, somehow determining to be a different person through sheer association. To find myself in others where I couldn't find myself within my own self. Running. Leaving bridges behind me charred messes, no return.

Slowly I pieced myself together and figured out what it was I was missing. I had a group of friends whom I truly felt were a real family for once. I belonged and since they helped me accept myself I assumed they would accept me as well. Things did not go as desired and I found myself suddenly with nobody. Falling endlessly within a vaccum. I became very aware of a great phoniness in the world.

I cannot blame my friends for this; you see I was not the person they felt they had befriended. Their love for me was a lie. You cannot live a life which is a lie and then expect others to love what is truth. You have to love your own truth first. Those you attract into your life then truly love you and are of value. Cherish them.

But this realization is not the solice it promises either. No matter how much pride you have in yourself and how many people you manage to find who can love you for who you are; those same people have their own friends and family they have to share and explain you to as well. Rejection by association. Friends in private who seem ideal next to you cannot know you in public or to their friends or family. They themselves do not see you as anything bizarre or wrong but they still have the worry or disdain from those they have around them that say they love them. Even if you build your loves on tuth the rest of the world builds theirs off of lies.

In this way false love can often be more real than real love. At the very least it is easier to attain and maintain so long as you can live with the inner turmoil of hiding who you truly are. Can you live with the illusion that people understand and accept you when they do not have a clue?

Never before in my life have I had such a steady stream of support and respect from others, such words of adoration and love. You are so "strong" and so "outspoken", these are what I love about you. But also I spend more time alone, just sitting. Denied spending more time with these same people who seem to truly love me. Not available, have plans, just dissapear. Where before I was included, I am not even asked. Where before I was planned around, I am hardly concidered.

Forever a Juliet looking for a Romeo to love me fully regardless of familial ties.

A Question to People Who Choose to Define Marriage Between a Man And a Woman Exclusively

This is actually something I wrote elsewhere, but meant as a blog post before I started my blog.

I have a question I raise to those who choose to define Marriage as specifically between a Man and a Woman ; How do you define a Man and how do you define a Woman?

Take a moment to think your answer through, then read on.


Ok


Did you define based on genitalia?

A man has a Penis and Testicles and a Woman has a Vagina?

This is the most common chosen definition. But where does this leave those people who have both? There are many Intersexed (Hermaphodite) conditions which leave chidlren born with either both or with something more ambiguous or undefineable.Where does your definition leave them? For years a gender was forced on these children at birth. Doctors decide which Genitals to remove or hide and they are labelled at birth, nowadays they are more often left to make their choices when they grow up.

If you believe in God, then God chose to make these children of both genders.


Did you jump to the genetic definition? XX and XY chromosomes.

This doesn't work either. The conditions causing ambiguous genitalia in the previous section are caused by Chromome matchs outside the XX and XY usually.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersexuality (warning, medical photographs with nudity)

There are even conditions which leave a child specifically with two different sets of DNA. A person could have both XX and XY as a result of Mosiacism or Chimerism.


Do you define gender based on reproductive functionality? A woman produces eggs and carries babies and a man produces sperm? There are large numbers of people who are sterile or infertile, many all their lives. By this definition they are genderless and you just denied them marriage. You are free to feel and think as you will about Gays and Lesbians marrying, however how would you feel if your same choice in our laws left your own intersexed child unable to marry? There are many things you can choose to ignore or argue against about both sexuality and ones gender, but it is impossible to define male and female as a definative black and white existance within humanity.

Please do not make decisions on behalf of the rest of humanity on issues you know absolutely nothing about. You would`t want people voting away your rights based on some medical condition you may have, or which your children may have or could be born with.